Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Float

"It is always the simple things that change our lives. And these things never happen when you are looking for them to happen. Life will reveal answers at the pace which life wishes to do so. You feel like running but life is on a stroll. This is how God does things." 

I was discussing tattoos and words and ultimately life with a friend the other day when she suggested the meaning of Freja Beha's Float tattoo. I think just a simple word can be so meaningful. In terms of Float and the relation to the above quote, my interpretation of her word choice has to do with our approach to life. To me, float hints to letting go, to giving into the rolling tide that is life. It reminds me of water and air and the inability to feel grounded. To float is to freely let one's body and spirit be taken by fate (or whatever you so choose to believe) and to allow change to occur; To let life take its purest form; To jump into the unknown whole-heartedly.

I think this notion is terribly difficult to wrap your head around. We can say that yes, I give myself openly to the world or fate or God or whatever but do we actually do it? Do we actively participate in forgiveness and the celebration of wholeness in our spirits and bodies, or do we at times become trapped. Do we sometimes forget to let go? Further, are we more afraid to let go more than anything? And let go of what, our guilt? And while we're in the whole confession process here (i.e my post about beauty) I think that the delicateness of the word float and the whole notion of just letting go, letting the chips fall where they may, deflects the true nature of this capability; complex. It takes a very strong person to be able to do this. Strong in sense of self, self-love and overall comfort in the world because to float is like saying, "swim out into that great big ocean right there, yes, go do it. And don't swim, don't fight. Just float and you will be happy."  There are sharks, big waves, storms, and unforgiving loneliness out there in the open ocean. So no! I do not give myself openly and whole-heartedly to the world because I'm terrified to! I am terrified to let go of things from my past and give myself to the unknown. And Yes! I do want to because I too would love to float. To set myself free. But it is all such an incredibly confusing and complicated state of being, isn't it?

This is why it is important to take the first steps. To allow small bits of change into our lives (my life, because naturally, I am talking about myself) and as the quote suggests, these simplistic happenings come at the most unexpected of times.  As much as I would like to see myself float on the open ocean (as I am completely assuming Freja meant with her tattoo?) floating doesn't entail throwing oneself off of a cliff into the open waters, it can also mean simply being open to change. There are moments in my life that have completely flipped everything I thought I knew completely upside down. It is moments like these that make life so incredibly unpredictable, so beautiful. That meeting someone can change your outlook completely is extraordinary. That one moment can change your path forever. And it is true. As I believe, everything happens for a reason. All you have to do is listen and keep floating. 

Thank you Maria especially and also all of those who have actively changed my life so far. 

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