It all started on a summer stroll through the park. I, wearing the most inappropriate of outfits for the weather stumbled upon a palm reader and happened to wait in line for thirty minutes to speak to said palm reader. Thrusting my tiny fare hand into his grubby paw I put my trust in his word, my heart in his hand, and my sanity on the line. Babbling, tracing, people gawking - he shoed them away. He focussed. The most significant of lines, wrapped gently around the side of my hand, was said to be an indication of my supposed romanticism.
Up until this I never quite realized that I was a romantic; too much of one I would argue. But I suppose I could say that prior to last summer my person was slightly withdrawn in the least. I woke up in the light that was central park.
I used to have this idea that romance needed to be some stereotypical verification of fondness, care, commitment... and more so that it had to almost fall within the boundaries of what is dubbed, 'romantic'.
It was almost like, "If you do something for me that is romantic I will know that you love me," in the simplest terms of course. The time it took to realize that romance need not be that, but may exist as a statement which is much more subdued, was unreasonably drawn out. We lose grip on our self-awareness and beliefs and tend to make fairly monumental mistakes in the process. It's all part of learning, and it's necessary in 'our development' but there is a point when we have to look at our expectations and their relation to that which is being shoved down our throats by a broad range of cultural outlets: this concoction we call romance is bullshit.
Being an ex-romantic entitles me to say this a little bit. I think that we get so caught up in romance that we lose sight of reality in relationships. We crave love so much, that we will accept anything as that.
What is romance exactly? I think that romance can also be understood as a wooing factor; we act romantically because we feel that this is an expression of 'true love' whether that is the actual truth or not and use it to ultimately win over that person of our desire. Pure bullshit.
Nowadays, I would like to claim that I don't believe in romance. I think it's corny, unnecessary and poorly represents 'true love'. These silly little ideas of what love looks like alters the way we love others, it becomes a competition, not to mention it's sickening to watch. Those lovey-dovey, teddy bear giving couples who longingly stare into each other's eyes make me sick - take it somewhere private, please.
Love can be shown in so many ways, it just doesn't have to be through dozens of roses, chocolates, or a weekend getaway. Okay, let's face it, if you give me a weekend getaway I will be thrilled because that's a sexy little surprise. I will NOT like it if it was intended to win me over. Do something nice and stick to your guns, don't try to manipulate my heart because now: I. Will. Win.
It's like the word purse.. romance does something without even doing it and it's just wrong.