"I believe you can't feel real joy unless you've felt heartache. You can't have a sense of victory unless you know what it means to fail. You can't know what it's like to feel holy until you know what it's like to feel really fucking evil. And you can't be birthed again until you've died."
- Kelly Cutrone
So it's been a while.. I'm really sorry. My life has been a whirlwind of funny thoughts
and ideas and happenings. I've been working like crazy -which feels beyond amazing, although exhausting - and have travelled to New York and back. My theory with work is that the more you put into it, the more you take out for yourself in the end. Not in terms of winnings of course, but in character I think. My theory with New York is that four days can bring you happy shopping and cocktails but a week drags you into the mix of living in the city. It always happens that I find the most incredibly unexpected happinesses in New York just at the end and rollover time brings me to a new chapter - unfortunately, and evidently in a place where these aren't directly available. But nothing can be too easy.
Working with jewellery brings about the most surprising of ideas. While holding open cases and fetching a few jewels for two lovely (and apparently single) ladies the other night, I came to thinking about concepts of 'true love.' It seems as if the women scouring our shelves for the perfect wedding earring have been contently and oh-so-naturally paired with their perfect partner. "Yes we have been dating for ten years and we are now getting married this Saturday." Where do these people hide?! Alternatively, like the late night shoppers the other evening, some women find it completely extraordinary to think of finding their true loves. "I recently stopped wearing rings on my left hand. I mean, no need to discourage any possible suitors," said the Greek bombshell shopper this past Thursday. Why is it that it seems so impossible to find love when there are so many people getting married, having babies, starting out on adventures? At the same time, why are we so focused on ultimately finding these perfect men?
I've been reading Kelly Cutrone's first book, If You Have to Cry Go Outside. It's this fantastic autobiography of self-discovery and explores social expectation and the importance of building our own
concepts of 'normal.' So much attitude and spunk. She talks a lot about love and work and how we're drilled to nurture the concept of femininity and womanhood and marriage and that jazz. Her writing is not the grandest, but that said she has a ton to say about her life, experiences, and what it means to be a powerful woman. I'm halfway through and entirely recommend it for a nice afternoon read. Eye opening. There is much more to people (and you) than you might expect.
Anyway, I think there is so much female power that goes unused - myself included. Why are we so surprised when we find love? And what is it that holds us back from being our fabulous selves? Let's fuck everyone who says we can't and go for whatever we want in life with no excuses, no guilt, only unwarranted anticipation for the great things that we are capable of.