Tuesday, March 22, 2011


Relationships always become complicated when you're a woman. Talking to a friend tonight I found myself dubbing male/female friendships as something whose nature is unendingly perplexing to the outside world. Suddenly, because I'm a girl, there has to exist some sort of inter-relational romantic story, a tension, a secret longing for which people search. Even so, following a rigorous attempt to persuade 'the audience,' we can't seem to convince them of the fact that friends can remain just that without there being a more intimate connection, curiosity or motive. 

But is this entirely true - can we make it through our friendships without feeling some sort of spark of desire? In contrast, can we find a way to remain just friends without leading on our noticeably interested counterparts who seem to be awaiting a moment of even subtle solidarity in our actions? How can we prove that friendships between men and women can work? 

What makes these friendships interesting is the near inevitability of the male facet to become romantically interested... at least in my own experience. Which then brings us to a point of terrible confusion in the end as they turn off the switch for communication of any sort. This is similar in situations of relationship-to-friendship attempts where women tend to want to uphold a friendly relation to their ex-partners whereas I've noticed is not true for the other side. 

To be questioned of the nature of a male/female friendship is but ordinarily fated as is the reverse; friendship following an intimate relationship. How are we women supposed to handle men?  They are either particularly uninterested or highly motivated - usually within the two of the extremes: romantically so or prompted by a distinctly platonic urge from within their trousers. Carrying a sense of rationality (only because it is socially understood as such) forces women to uphold a certain place of craze within the relationship.  Is it really about emotions, or is this connection but cultivated by our notions of male/ female relations? We can't seem to be able to be just friends with men, the relationship always has to be more. 

Perhaps it is just as confusing on the other side of the fence. 

No comments: